I Don't Want to Be
by IfYouCouldOnlySee
Summary: What if Veronica Mars had a younger sister named Cassandra? First attempt at a VM story. Please be gentle. haha.


Gentle snores filled the darkened room before an annoying buzzing alarm began to reverberate. A dainty hand escaped a prison of blankets before slamming the snooze button on the alarm and retreating back under the covers. That was the fourth time Cassandra had hit the snooze button. She just hoped that neither her dad nor her sister had heard it. The petite blonde lay still under her blankets listening for any sounds of them outside her door. Nothing. She heard nothing, which caused her to breathe a sigh of relief. Maybe she could actually pull off not going to her first day of high school and hopefully she could continue to do so every day of her high school career. Suddenly, the covers she had buried herself under were ripped off from her body causing her to curl up into a ball and bury her face in her pillow at the sight of the bright light. However, her quick motions didn't stop her from catching the culprit.

"Dad," Cassandra groaned. "I'm trying to sleep."

"I know, I've been in here watching you for the last ten minutes," Keith Mars answered. "Your sister is ready and waiting for you."

"But I'm sick," Cassandra said before faking several coughs.

"Sounds like a cough. A fever too?" Keith asked.

"I think so," Cassandra said attempting to sound even remotely sick. "I don't think I can go to school today."

"Well, to be on the safe side, I think I have a rectal thermometer somewhere around here," Keith started. "I've heard they're more accurate. Only the best for my baby girl."

"Don't even think about it," Cassandra hissed popping up from her sleeping position into a sitting one.

"Looks like someone is miraculously better for her first day of high school," Keith chuckled.

Cassandra rolled her eyes as her father gently patted her knee. He told her that she had fifteen minutes to get ready before her older sister left for school which would force her to take the bus to school. She didn't know which was worse: showing up to one's first day of high school on the school bus or with one's outcast sister. Either way, her high school career was doomed before she even stepped foot into Neptune High. She wanted desperately to make a good impression on her peers but she knew that wasn't going to happen. Still, she had to try and that started with the perfect outfit for her first day of high school. Cassandra had this outfit planned out weeks ago when she had spent what little money she had earned over the summer on clothes to impress. Her older sister had told her that it was a waste of her time and money, but she hadn't listened. Cassandra grabbed her outfit from her desk and threw it onto her unmade bed. A teal polo shirt, a preppy white ruffled mini-ish skirt, and a pair of Enties skate shoes completed her ensemble. Once she was dressed she ran across the hallway to the bathroom she shared with her sister to quickly brush her teeth and put a little make-up on. She was in the middle of putting some mascara on when Veronica called for her.

"I'm leaving in five minutes, dweeb."

Veronica then poked her head into the bathroom and gave her younger sister a somewhat disapproving look. Veronica was Cassandra's older sister by eighteen months and two days and she never let her forget it. She was also part of the reason that Cassandra had absolutely no hope of surviving high school. Long story short: being a Mars in Neptune, CA sucked monkey balls.

"Is there something wrong?" Cassandra asked as she examined her outfit.

"Yeah, what are you wearing?" Veronica questioned.

"I wanted to look nice on my first day," Cassandra responded.

"You look like you're trying to fit in with the 09ers," Veronica said scrunching her nose.

"First of all, I think being a Mars has ruined any chances of that," Cassandra retorted. "Second, the so-called 09ers used to be your friends."

"Exactly my point, used to be. Not to mention that I know how they view freshman," Veronica commented. "Now, chop chop. Dad made you breakfast."

Her sister disappeared into the hallway once more as Cassandra stood examining herself in the mirror. This was probably as good as it was going to get. Besides, at least she didn't look fashion challenged like Veronica. She smoothed out her long, straight, blonde hair once more before walking down the small hallway in the apartment to the kitchen which was connected to the living room because of the open concept design. Cassandra saw a plate of scrambled eggs and her favorite chocolate chip pancakes sitting on a plate on the counter. She moved to swipe the plate but her dad must have seen her reaching because he snatched the plate and dug his fork into the eggs. She stood there with a somewhat shocked look on her face. There wasn't another plate on the counter. Veronica had said that her dad made some breakfast for her but where it was she hadn't a clue.

"Where's mine?" Cassandra asked.

"You snooze, you lose kiddo," Keith said with a mouthful of chocolate chip pancakes.

"Aren't you the one who's always saying that breakfast is the most important meal of the day?" Cassandra asked.

"It is," Keith said after he swallowed. "That's why there is toast wrapped in a paper towel and a banana right there."

"You know that I hate toast and bananas," Cassandra groaned.

"If you're not going to eat them I will," Veronica said as her hand moved to grab them.

Cassandra didn't move to grab the food. So Veronica unwrapped the toast and took a bite out of it right in front of her.

"Starting high school off right: starving," Cassandra said rolling her eyes.

"On the bright side you have four years to perfect it," Veronica quipped. "Let's blow this popsicle joint, Cassandra."

"Have a good day girls," Keith said before placing a gentle kiss on each of his girl's foreheads.

"Peace up, a town down, Pop," Veronica said sarcastically.

"Someone needs to lay off the Usher," Cassandra groaned.

"Says the girl who sings it in the shower," Veronica teased. "Yeah, yeah, yeah."

Veronica pushed Cassandra toward the door as their father called for Veronica to drive safe and that he'd see them after school. The girls both worked for their father's private investigation business. More like Veronica actually did the work. Cassandra pushed a stapler around in her opinion. Not that she was envious of what Veronica did. High school jobs were supposed to be boring. That was part of the ritual in Neptune if you weren't from money. You found a job you despised to make enough money to put you through college so you could get a different job you didn't hate as much. She had so much to look forward to in life. If she had to say what she envied most about her sister at this very moment, it was that Veronica was closer to getting out of the hell that was high school than she was. Ever since her father had accused Jake Kane of killing his daughter Lily, who happened to be Veronica's best friend, and thus causing him to lose his job…well, Cassandra knew that her chances of enjoying high school were slim.

Cassandra slumped into the passenger's seat of Veronica's cart and waited for her sister to put the car in drive. She remained quiet in the car as Veronica sang along to the songs on the radio. She watched her sister grow tenser and tenser as they inched closer and closer to Neptune High. Cassandra's stomach was in knots as Veronica pulled into the parking lot. She knew that it was natural for one too nervous to start high school, but this sensation was almost unbearable. She didn't know if she could spend four years of high school the way she had spent the end of eighth grade: alone. Veronica parked the car at the far end of the parking lot, almost as far away from school as she could. While it made a long walk of shame into school, it did give them a quick getaway at the end of the day. Veronica reached for her over the shoulder bag before turning to her sister.

"I'll see you right here after school, all right?" Veronica asked.

"If I make it that long," Cassandra muttered. "Dad should have let me be sick."

"Avoid the 09ers and the PCH guys as much as humanly possible and you should come out in one piece," Veronica said giving her sister some last minute advice. "Ready?"

"Go on without me," Cassandra answered. "I just need a minute."

"Don't take too long. High school's kind of like a band aid, kid, the sooner you get it done and over with; the sooner it's over," Veronica said.

Cassandra nodded her head as Veronica put her game face on and got out of the car. A feeling of guilt began to weave through the nervousness in her stomach. So, she hadn't been completely honest with Veronica. She didn't want to go walking into the proverbial lion's den with the proverbial fresh meat. No, at school she was going to try and distance herself from her sister as much as possible. She was going to pave her own direction and not be known for being former sheriff Mars's daughter or Veronica's little sister. Of course, these were lofty ambitions. And wishing and hoping only got one so far before they crashed and burned. After a slow breath out, Cassandra opened the car door and stepped out of the car.

"Welcome to hell," Cassandra muttered.

While she recognized a few people from eighth grade and some of Veronica's former friends, she avoided eye contact at all costs. As she pushed her way toward the school, she could fee people's glares on her and whispers rippling. She knew what they were saying: Baby Mars is now in high school. But really, it was bound to happen eventually. It shouldn't be something so gossip worthy. But of course, this was Neptune so it wouldn't be too surprising if she made the front page of the school paper. She walked across the parking lot with her arms folded across her chest defensively. A large group of people was beginning to form in the quad near the flagpole; a large group which included 09ers and boys in the PCH. Heeding Veronica's warning, she made sure to veer away from the crowd and walk right for the school building. With nowhere else to go, she headed for her homeroom with Mr. Nelson. Veronica had told her that at Mr. Nelson was at least a pretty decent teacher. Hopefully that proved to be at least some consolation because she also had Global Studies with him first period.

The petite blonde freshman walked through the halls of Neptune High with her gaze at the floor for the most part except for the occasional glance to the classroom numbers. It would be just her luck that the Social Studies department was on the other freaking side of the school. She sharply turned the corner of a hallway when she unexpectedly bumped into a hard body. Her eyes immediately fluttered up to see the person standing before her. She froze at the very sight with her mouth open. The words "please don't kill me" echoed through her head as the steely colored eyes of her sister's ex-boyfriend Duncan Kane met hers. Of course she would literally run into Duncan Kane, an 09er, with a huge pull on the social class system at Neptune High. She knew that she would never be popular, but she didn't want be at the bottom of the heap on her first day. She did the first thing she could do to make the situation any better: profusely apologize.

"Duncan, I am so sorry. I wasn't watching where I was going. I was just going to Mr. Nelson's room and you know being a stupid freshman and all I know absolutely nothing about the layout of the school. Did I mention that I'm sorry? Extremely sorry? Sorry to the point of-" Cassandra rambled.

"Cassandra, it's fine," Duncan muttered. "Mr. Nelson's room is down there."

Duncan pointed down the hallway before he turned and walked away from her without another word. Cassandra couldn't help but stand there in shock for a moment. She had expected worse, but instead he offered her help. Granted, she didn't know Duncan very well. He only knew her as Veronica's weird little sister, but he had always been nice to her. Then after he broke up with Veronica, she hadn't seen him, but she had heard how terrible he was to Veronica. Well, basically he just ignored her and allowed his fellow 09ers to bully her, which was just as bad as if he were doing it himself. Cassandra breathed a sigh of relief that his best friend hadn't been with him otherwise she knew that scene probably would have played out differently because Duncan Kane's best friend Logan Echolls was probably the biggest thorn in Veronica's side. Thus, she expected him to be a big pain in hers too. Luck was what that had been and she knew it was too much to ask for to get lucky twice.

Cassandra walked into Mr. Nelson's room to find that even though she was early, she wasn't the first one in the classroom. No, a dark-haired girl with dark make-up dressed in jeans and a teal Hurley sweatshirt was seated in the furthest corner of the classroom. She didn't want to annoy the girl, so she sat in the back but at the opposite end of the classroom. Quietly, she slipped into the desk as she felt the girl glance her direction. They sat there in silence as students slowly began to trickle into the room until the bell rang. Mr. Nelson got up and gave the speech he probably had given other freshman classes before. The guy was also a football coach, so she could see how he could be intimidating but there was also a certain comical side to him. His speech was something about this being the first day of the rest of their lives and such, but he kept the speech comical and cheesy, extra cheesy. At least he was doing it to get a laugh out of them rather than being serious about it. The bell rang and as the students lined up to exit, Mr. Nelson pretended to throw them out of the classroom and shout crazy nonsense which brought some much needed laughter to reduce the stress. Cassandra was the only one who stayed for Global Studies.

Cassidy Casablancas walked into the classroom with a slightly terrified expression on his face as he looked at Mr. Nelson who was still shouting from the doorway. The boy was quick to avoid her gaze. Of course he was. He had never exactly been friendly with Cassandra in middle school, but he had become especially icy toward her last year. Cassidy also happened to have an easy in to the 09ers, especially with his older brother Dick who lived up to his name if everything Veronica told her was true. The boy walked to the other side of the room and sat in the only desk with an orange seat in the classroom. As the classroom began to fill, the desks surrounding her were left open. She knew it was intentional when her former best friend looked right at her and noticed the empty seats but didn't sit anywhere near her. Hannah was a sweet girl, but apparently when it came to friendships with baggage she was flaky. The dark haired girl from her homeroom walked back into the classroom and slumped into the seat beside Cassandra. The bell rang and Mr. Nelson began to take roll call. He called Ethan Abrams, Allison Brown, and Chloe Carmichael before he called on Cassidy. When Mr. Nelson saw him he grinned before he walked over to the desk Cassidy was sitting in.

"Someone does it every time," Mr. Nelson said shaking his head.

Cassandra couldn't help but laugh at the look of intimidation on Cassidy's face.

"Someone always sits in B.O." Mr. Nelson continued.

The class burst into laughter. Well, everyone but Cassidy who squirmed in his seat. It was almost nice to see him squirm.

"Are you sure you can handle the B.O. Casablancas?" Mr. Nelson asked.

"I don't smell anything," Cassidy muttered.

"And someone falls for _that_ every time," Mr. Nelson grinned. "I'm not talking about the stench of B.O. I'm talking about the Big Orange here."

Mr. Nelson patted the back of the orange seat of the desk. Everyone laughed and even Cassidy managed an embarrassed smile. Mr. Nelson continued on with the roll call but he stopped when he got to Cassandra's name. He looked over to her corner.

"Mars it's good to see that you didn't try to run. Things are easier that way. You're on your way to an easy A," Mr. Nelson joked. "Michaels however, that's another story."

"I came back," the girl next to her said.

"I'm glad. It makes my heart all warm inside, Missy," Mr. Nelson said with his hand over his heart. "You should get at least a solid B."

"As long as I pass," Missy said with a shrug.

Mr. Nelson tried to make the class fun, but it was one of those ice-breaker getting-to-know-you games, which she was sure she'd be playing all day with people who didn't want to know anything about her. Nelson started two rolls of toilet paper on each side of the classroom. He told them they had to take at least one square but he didn't care how many they took. When the toilet paper roll came to Cassandra she only took one piece, which turned out to be in her benefit. That meant she only had to say one thing about herself unlike one of the obnoxious boys who took about half a roll. Her morning classes seemed to go by somewhat smoothly. Well, as smoothly as she hoped they could go. It actually surprised her that things were going as smoothly as they were; but of course, she had to go and think that and jinx herself.

Cassandra got into the slow moving lunch line. She put her choice of fruit or vegetable: carrot sticks, her main side: pizza dippers, and choice of dessert: cookie dough on her tray. The lunch ladies seemed nice enough as she punched her student number into the number pad to pay for her meal. Now came the moment of truth, a moment that could define the rest of high school. Where to sit for lunch? She immediately spotted where she didn't want to sit: the 09ers table. The only problem was to get to an empty table, she would need to pass their table. It shouldn't be too hard to pretend like she didn't exist, right? Cassandra held her head high as she began to walk across the quad, trying to stay focused on the empty table as she walked past the 09ers.

"Well, well, if it isn't Baby Mars," a voice taunted from behind her.

Cassandra inwardly cringed at the sound of Logan Echolls's voice. She really wanted to avoid him, so she chose to ignore him. She moved to take a step forward with her lunch tray when a hand wrapped around her arm. Her lunch tray jerked out of her hands and fell to the cement in a thud. Her lunch lay there splattered on the ground. Cassandra's eyes searched for someone, anyone to come to her rescue. She then turned toward the 09ers table. She looked at Duncan, hoping that he was being generous still, but his eyes never met hers.

"We can do this the easy way or the hard way, Baby Mars," Logan said.

"How about I go get a new lunch and you continue doing whatever it is you're doing," Cassandra suggested.

"Hmmm, let's think about that. Dick what are we doing?" Logan asked.

"Freshmen," Dick answered suggestively.

"And last time I checked you were a freshman," Logan said. "Not to mention that you're a Mars. That means…"

Cassandra quickly turned on the heel of her Etnies to walk back to the lunch line as she saw Veronica sit down at a table a few feet from her. When Veronica noticed Cassandra she stood to her feet, but it was too late when Cassandra felt something smack her butt and slide down her leg. Whatever it was felt warm and slimy. She turned around to see Logan holding a slice of pizza in his hand, which he roughly took a bite out of. Her gaze then glanced to the ground where a piece of pizza lay strewn with her lunch. She then turned around to look at her backside. Cheese and pizza sauce stuck to her white skirt and some trickled onto her leg. People passing by her were already beginning to laugh and whisper. Cassandra shut her eyes tightly and focused on her breathing. She was torn between giving Logan Echolls a piece of her mind or crying when an arm wrapped around her shoulder and began to usher her in a different direction. When Cassandra opened her eyes, she saw Veronica still at her table watching. With a confused look, Cassandra looked to see Missy Michaels from homeroom and Global Studies walking with her.

Missy walked with her into the bathroom off the quad. Cassandra reached for a paper towel and ran it under the sink before she began to dab at her white skirt. The pizza sauce was definitely not coming out…at least not any time soon. She groaned as she wiped the cheese and sauce from her legs. When she looked up, she saw Missy taking her sweatshirt off before she hopped onto the sink to watch Cassandra continue to struggle to clean herself. Cassandra examined her butt in the mirror. Of course she would have a giant red spot on her ass. Missy then tossed her sweatshirt at Cassandra, which landed on her shoulder.

"I—I don't understand," Cassandra stammered.

"This is me trying to help you," Missy said. "Just tie it around your waist and no one should even notice."

Cassandra did as Missy said and examined herself once more in the mirror before turning to look at her newfound savior.

"Thanks," Cassandra said. "You didn't have to do that."

"I know," Missy added. "You're just lucky that I haven't acclimated to the California climate and wore a sweatshirt today. It's freezing here compared to Arizona where I lived."

"So you're new then?" Cassandra asked.

"We're freshmen, we're all new," Missy answered.

"I mean to Neptune," Cassandra furthered.

"No, we've gone to school together since the sixth grade Mars," Missy responded.

"But you said that you lived in Arizona," Cassandra said in confusion.

"Yeah, I did with my dad. I was forced to spend the summer with him but I stay the school year with my mom in Neptune," Missy said.

"I'm sorry, I don't recognize you," Cassandra apologized.

"Funny what taking your mother's maiden name, hair dye, and makeup will do to a person, huh?" Missy chuckled. "Besides, it's not like we were in the same circles anyway in middle school."

"And what circle were you in?" Cassandra asked.

"Not that it matters, but I used to play basketball. I quit to kinda stick it to my dad, you know, for leaving my mom?" Missy said. "I've heard the stories, so I know that you get it."

"Who hasn't," Cassandra groaned.

Missy shrugged her shoulders, which caused Cassandra to recognize the girl before her. The girl was right; they definitely hadn't been in the same circle. Missy _Davis_ had been really good at basketball and quite popular, if she remembered correctly. Cassandra had only been "liked" when her dad was sheriff before the whole Lily Kane drama. After that, well she had been a loner and now it seemed that Missy was willingly becoming a loner, which she didn't really understand. The bell rang for the passing period before their next class.

"What class do you have?" Missy asked.

"Algebra," Cassandra said.

"Me too. Let's go Mars," Missy said. "That is unless you want to spend the rest of your afternoon in here."

"Are you sure you want to be seen with me?" Cassandra asked.

"I don't really care. I'm just going to Algebra, take it or leave it," Missy said.

"Take it," Cassandra said.

Thankfully, her afternoon classes didn't include any more run-ins with the 09ers. After school, Cassandra practically collapsed in Veronica's car. Veronica was already there waiting for her with a sympathetic smile on her face.

"Looks like you scraped by," Veronica said.

"Barely," Cassandra groaned.

"One a positive note, you have one less day of high school," Veronica responded as she put the car into drive.

"Just get me away from here," Cassandra sighed.

"Aye aye captain," Veronica mocked.

Veronica punched her sister's arm before pulling out of the Neptune High parking lot. Cassandra rubbed at her arm where she had been punched before she rolled down her window. She let the wind blow through her hair and the scent of the ocean in the distance hit her. This was definitely going to be one long year.


End file.
